Demographics: they're almost always wrong

Demographics: the science behind marketing a car, ie: who will this car appeal to? A Buick LeSabre: retirees. A Chevy Cobalt: a teenager. A Mercedes C-Class: a well-to-do 20-something. Any Subaru: tree-huggers.

The above notations stand true. But for the most part, they're wrong too. Take for example, the Chrysler 300C. Aimed at the 65 year-old and over. Instead, every big-city pimp bought one and now it's the most popular vehicle among the gangland-crowd.

It's actually no longer about the skin-tone, age, or employment group that suggests who will buy what car. It's all about the attitude or more specifically, the ineptitude.

So here's how I see them:

Any 1-series BMWs; Well-to-do 20-somethings who want to be hip without realizing they could have bought an Audi A4 and not kill themselves in the first fast corner they try in winter.

Subarus: For those who can't afford Volvos.

Volvos: For those who can't afford a BMW 5-series.

Volkswagens: For people who used to own a Subaru.

Audis: For those who know they can't drive and depend on the car to make up for their short-comings in driver-experience.

Mercedes: For those who can afford them but don't know how to drive 10 km/h above the speed limit.

Toyotas: For the most boring people on the planet.

Hondas: For those who can't think for themselves and look beyond the marketing.

BMW 3-series: As Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear would say: "Coqs!" People who think they know how to drive until they unleash all that horsepower and end up in the ass-end of a minivan!

Nissans: For those who want to be jussssssst a lil' different.

Buicks: For those people who are waiting to die and hopefully, take you with them when they drive through those red lights.

Nissan Cubes: Weirdos.

Corvettes: There's no way around it, they ARE trying to make up for something... but just what that is, I don't know.

Chevy Cobalts: For those who think they look cool driving fast while laying practically in the backseat. (You know who they are).

F*rds: Who cares!

Dodge Rams or F*rd F150 pickup trucks: For those who think they can drive a pickup like a car.... until it flips over.

Minivans: Suckers!

Any Supercars: Remember, just because you can afford it, DOESN'T mean you know how to drive it!

Toyota Prius' or Honda Insights: Go back to British Columbia or Seattle!! Leonardo's hosting a Sushi Bar tonight!

Lexus': For people with money but no real aspirations to drive.

Infinitis: For people who wish they could buy a BMW.

Hummers: For those pimps who have too much money and not enough brains to know where best to spend it.

Honda Fits: For people with no identity and no desire to have one either.

Mustangs: For people who should have been born in Quebec.

Pontiacs: For people who should have been born in Quebec.

Honda Civics: The second most boring people in the world.

Hyundais: For people who don't want to be suckered into buying Japanese.

Land Rovers: For people who can buy an extremely-capable SUV but are too terrified to ever drive it off-road.

Saturns: For those people who actually believed they weren't buying GM.

Mazdas: For those people who don't know they're buying a F*rd.

Jaguars: For those people who don't know they're buying a F*rd.

Kias: For those people who can't afford a Hyundai.

Toyota Echos: For those people who don't really need a car.

Mini Coopers: For those people who will never have children.

Smart cars: For those people who should never have children.

What's what...

Ever notice how one car looks ka-pow in one color but another model looks completely alien in the same color? Some colors ate just made for those vehicles. Let me explain: not EVERY Ferrari looks good in the infamous Ferrari Red. Here's a few examples:

Ferrari F430: Metallic Blue
Ferrari Testarossa: White
Buick Enclave: Brown
New Camaro: "Bumble-Bee" Yellow
Chrysler 300C: Teal Green
Jeep Wrangler: Sahara Green & Tan
Dodge Magnum SRT8: Red
New F*rd Mustang: Brilliant Blue
New Mazda3 Sport: Brilliant Metallic Blue
Toyota Venza: Brown
Dode Ram pickup: Red
Toyota Camry: White
Second-generation Audi A4: Deep Blue
Audi A6: Silver
Honda Civic: Silver

Simple isn't it?! Try adding some vehicles of your own choosing.